BAD IDEA, Learning to Live with the Void: Inside Lana Lubany’s Self-Made Universe

The first time I discovered Palestinian American musician Lana Lubany was just a few months ago. At the time, I was deep in my obsession with dark, horror-leaning music, and the moment I heard her songs, something clicked instantly. I couldn’t stop listening. For days, I had her music on repeat. I found her socials, fell into her world, and just like that, I became completely obsessed. From the very first click, I was hooked.

I felt an urge to create a new division on our website, one dedicated to music. There’s so much freedom in music right now, so much experimentation, so many voices and forms of art waiting to be discovered. Lately, I’ve found myself connecting to music even more than cinema, which surprised me. I wanted to start this chapter with Lana because, quite simply, I want the coolest music artists on A Shot, and she is absolutely one of them.

By the end of the interview, Lana told me it was the best interview she’s ever done. And honestly, I felt the exact same way.

In this exclusive conversation, we talked about her latest single “BAD IDEA,” which just dropped online. We spoke about her journey of self-discovery, a journey I related to on many levels, her love for horror films, her struggles with writing, and the long process of finding the courage to be her true self.

This doesn’t feel like just an interview. It feels more like a therapy session, for weirdos like Lana and me.

How has your journey of discovering your identity been so far?

There were not many Arab pop stars, and I’ve always wanted to do the singing thing, and I never had the representation. So, I thought I have to change myself in order to be who I thought I needed to be in order to do music for a living. And so, I was kind of lost for a long time trying to find my sound, trying to find myself, trying to figure out what my story was, and I feel like I ‘ve reached a low point. I was living in London back then, and it was during covid that I got to a really low point that one day I was like, just fuck it. I’m going to try and write a song with Arabic in it. Because my mom always said, Lana you should write in Arabic. It makes you unique. It makes you who you are. And I always said, nah, Mom, you don’t understand. You don’t know. And then I did try, and I wrote a song before I wrote my breakout song, The Snake, and it felt cool. I was like, oh, this is something I’ve never heard before, and this is something that I feel like it’s cool and represents me.

And then I wrote The Snake, and that one, it wasn’t immediate, like I was not feeling great. And then I wrote it, then I knew there was something about it that was different and that felt good. And every time I showed it to people, my mom included. It felt like they reacted differently, and it felt more me and it felt scarier, which is how you know that, like this is hitting a point, like a sensitive point within me. So, I put out the song. I kind of got over my fears, and that song specifically helped me with my identity crisis, if you want to call it that, and it kind of made me understand that me being myself is the coolest shit ever, and I need to just be me and accept myself for who I am. And then I started working on a project called the Holy Land and released that. And that was the whole journey of me rediscovering myself by really being accepting of my identity. And to this day, I’m on a journey of self-discovery. I feel like that. It never stops.

Do you still feel lost? 

Now, I feel very in between, if that makes sense, like everyone is not here, not there.

Yeah, you know that’s life. That’s what life means. 

I think there’s a beauty in that, creating that perspective. 

Your single Bad Idea is about letting go. What is something Lana has let go of over the past year?

I think in life, you’re always forced to let go. I think bad idea specifically is kind of like letting go of your control and kind of being like, fuck it. I’m just going to do whatever feels good for me at the moment. I’ve let go of so many things. This past year life has kind of come to me with a bunch of changes and like, I’ve had to let go of bad habits like people pleasing and not standing up for myself, being letting other people control me, some friendships that I’ve had to let go of. I think change is inevitable. There’s beauty in it. It’s really difficult. But I think when you kind of let go, life becomes a bit less anal, a little less kind of rigid. It starts working with you rather than against you. So, you just have to accept it and let go sometimes.

The cover of Bad Idea features a vampire or werewolf, and this darker side keeps showing up in your visuals. Are you a fan of horror movies?

Yes. I love horror movies. I’ve always been fascinated by darker themes, whether it’s horror, whether it’s thriller, like anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. I think horror kind of takes our fears and stylizes them. And I find the human mind fascinating. I think horror explores our subconscious and our repressed emotions, like our fears, our desires, our instincts, and it exposes what we bury. And I think we’re curious. I’m a curious cat. I don’t know if you’ve watched Pearl with Mia Goth. I think Pearl is so disturbing. When something is uncanny, that fascinates me. 

I saw some visuals from the Bad Idea music video, and they gave me A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night vibes, the Iranian film. Have you seen it?

I have not watched it, but I looked it up. And I love the visuals. I see it. I see what you mean, and I’d love to watch it. 

If you were to star in a horror movie, which role would you choose: the vampire, the serial killer, the villain, or the “IT girl” who screams her way through the film?

I would be the vampire or the villain. Definitely.

Have you ever considered acting? 

I would love to act at some point, I think it would be really fun. Because. I love acting in my music videos, but it has to be the right role and the right type of movie. And I think horror would be really cool. 

I’m really in love with the visuals in your music videos, like 73T and Sold. They are so cool and surreal. Do you contribute to the visual concepts, or is that mostly the director’s vision?

I do contribute to my music videos. I mean, Sold specifically was the beginning of my journey, and I didn’t understand much about the visual world, and that was completely the director’s vision or the team that worked on it. I think there’s a couple videos like that in my roster of videos, but most of the videos that I do, especially in the past couple years, I need to be in control, because I realized that nobody knows me, like me, and nobody can understand, nobody can read my mind, and I have a world that I’m building. And, you know, a stranger can’t come and read my mind. I have to express what I want and I have a vision. I definitely have a vision. So, I’m definitely very, very involved in the process.

Nowadays, my process is very much me, and my sister Karine Lubany does creative direction for me, and she’s incredible. And we kind of bounce off each other, we brainstorm, and then I’ve been working with my friend Matt Bottomley, who is an incredible videographer and we kind of execute the vision together. And I think we’re creating really cool stuff without many resources, which I think is so special and can force you to create out of your shell. But we’re building a bigger world. So, every little kind of city in that world, we build with intention, and I’m very involved. 

In your music video “Sold,” you say “اخذ اسمي غير حقيقة.” Can you share some context behind that song?

I wrote the song when I was on my self-discovery journey and I was working on The Holy Land, which was a concept project where I was telling my story about losing myself and then about finding myself by accepting myself. And I told the story in phases. And so Sold was phase two, it came after The Snake, and that was about temptation to bad habits, negativity, anything that leads you away from your path. And then I went and personified this temptation in the song, and I wrote about how it had power over me, because that’s how I lost myself, by kind of giving into the temptation. So that’s kind of what sold its. this back and forth between, the desire to keep your control and the desire to just let go and give into the temptation. 

You’ve said before that you write everything from your own experiences. Have you ever thought about writing from an imagined perspective, like a song set in another world, or one about a falling nation? 

I’d love to, and this is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I love world building, and I find it fascinating when a story mirrors real life, but I like it when it’s set in a different world. I love that kind of sense of escapism that you get when you watch something like that. And I feel like I’m exploring this right now with my own perspective, with my own story. I write my best work and have written my best work from an authentic place, and that’s what always worked for me. But I like to tell my story using metaphors and when you’re building a different world, there’s no limits to your imagination, like we were saying about horror, and I think there’s power to that. And so, I think I would still find a way for it to be authentic and me, but I would love to, I want to try one day to write a scene, or like something that has nothing to do with me and seeing how that affects my creativity differently. But one thing I do like to remind myself is that nobody can take away the worlds that you build in your mind, and that’s a comfort that I find in world building. 

Let’s imagine there’s an unknown world called Lana somewhere out there. What do you think it would look like, and how would it feel to exist there?

I love this question. It would be a city at night. It would feel free to exist in this world and would imagine myself driving fast on the road, blasting music by the beach. It would be a contradiction. It would have like contrasts, it would be soft and emotional, but dangerous at the same time, and it would feel you’re exhaling and like you’re allowed to exist and be yourself fully without being watched or judged or defined. So, it’s a more emotional world than a logical world. For sure. 

What are the colors of this world?

I think muted colors, dark blue with hints of red here and there, a lot like neutral brown even, as well as, like the basics, yeah, just muted. But then hints of color that work together, if that makes sense? 

If you had to choose a song that represents you, but wasn’t written or performed by you, what would it be?

I found this song last year, called Apollo 18 by Kamari. I strongly recommend you check it out. It’s incredible. It’s a song that’s been on rotation for me, and it feels really introspective. It feels intimate and a little bit detached, and like me, it feels in between and like you’re leaving to find yourself and to find where you belong. And it says a lot without trying hard. 

Is there a song or a film that genuinely changed the way you see life?

There’s so many that I probably haven’t thought of, but I would say The Hunger Games really stuck with me. I read the book before I watched the movie, and it was a long time ago. I was really young, and I think the Hunger Games mirrors real life. Obviously, it’s a world building piece of art, which I love, and I am always inclined to watch those and consume those, but I think the Hunger Games mirrors reality in how narratives are pushed into us. You’re told who to be and who to root for, depending on the information that you’re given and how the story is given to you. And I think watching it from a third-party perspective, us the viewer, makes the corruption really obvious and even absurd. And I just think it showed me that it’s really important to question the narratives that were handed and well, something that really stuck with me, that I find unsettling is how easily you can support the rebellion in The Hunger Games and yet unknowingly support the capitol in real Life.

Has your music been a way for you to face your feelings, or a way to escape them?  

Facing them for sure. Writing helps me make sense of my emotions, and it’s the way I process how I feel, and it helps me confront my feelings, especially when it’s uncomfortable. I think otherwise, if I didn’t do it through writing, I would be avoiding my emotions. But instead, I sit with my emotions, and I turn them into something tangible, and it makes them feel less overwhelming, and it just makes more sense. So, it’s not about escaping. 

You have a song titled “I Wish I Was Normal.” Do you feel that you’re not “normal,” and what does that idea mean to you?

I wrote that song as a Palestinian who was living away from home in London, and at the time, I felt like the issues that I was dealing with and the things that I was worried about were not normal, were out of the ordinary, but I never felt ordinary. The thing is I never felt like I fully belonged anywhere, and I always felt like I was different from the environment I was around, always in between, and at the time, that was amplified because I was just worried about the politics and everything and people around me were normal. I don’t think I’m normal, and sometimes I wish I was, because it sounds like an easier life, but I think it’s, it’s more fun, kind of being all over the place, yeah? 

In “Point of No Return,” you mention having a void inside you. I know everyone has one, but is it still there for you? And what have you tried to fill it with?

I’m at a different point in my life right now than when I wrote a point on a return. I wrote it during the time where I was lost. I feel like I know myself a lot better now, and I know how to handle myself. Yeah, back then, I wasn’t in a good place, and I didn’t have the habits in place. In order to keep myself in check, I tried to fill the void with dopamine distractions, such as scrolling TV, false product, false productivity as well, anything that’s easier than facing the void nowadays. And I journal, which is lifesaving. It’s incredible. It helps me recognize my habits and my patterns, and it helps me avoid the void as much as I can. Obviously, we all have bad days and stuff, but I think setting up habits and recognizing mental patterns and reflecting on yourself, that’s what helps you get better at life. So I feel like I’m more of a pro at life now, or we’re getting there.

I’d love for you to tell me about your first album, Devil in My Eden. The tracks are all under a minute, and every time I listen to one, it leaves me wanting more. What was that journey like, going through your first album and choosing to tell it in such brief moments?

I forget about that one but that was my covid project. And I had heard of this artist, Tierra Whack who made one-minute songs, and I just thought that was really fascinating and really interesting. And at the time TikTok was coming up, and we were hearing about people’s attention spans decreasing, and I just wanted to experiment. It was like my covid experiment of like; will more people listen if the songs were shorter? What would it be like if I released one minute songs inspired by this artist, Tierra Whack? It was a fun project to make, and I feel like now if I were to make it, I would nail it more. Obviously, I’m better at music, of course, but it was kind of outside of the box and outside of the norm. And I do have to be a little bit quirky, a little bit like if everybody goes right, I go left.

Have you watched The Voice of Hind Rajab?

No, not yet I have not but I’ve heard incredible things about it, and I want to watch it, but I feel like something in me is like, I need to be in the right state of mind.

What kinds of stories do you want to tell through your music?

Stories that are real, my stories, stories that I feel connected to, that I feel like need to be told, and obviously I have to connect to something in order to create art about it. But I think it’s more things that I come across in my own specific journey that I feel I need to express myself because it’s affecting me in some sort of way.

What are you trying to achieve, as an Arab, as a singer in your career, and as your true self? 

I want to create art without boundaries, without being defined by identity or by people’s prejudices. I want to create art that I want to see in the world, and I want to do it on my own terms, not to be defined by borders, and I want to be part of the representation that I didn’t have growing up. 

What does being human mean to you? I’d love for you to tell me something that feels so Lana. 

Being human is about contrast and contradiction. We hold light and darkness at the same time, strength and vulnerability, fear and curiosity, belonging but not quite fitting in. It’s allowing yourself to feel without needing to explain yourself or resolve anything. I think it’s about existing fully in the present and in the in between, existing wherever your kind of is inclined to exist. And community, connection, creativity and music are very, very important. 

What is your all time favorite film? 

It’s a really hard question, because I’m not a film nerd, but I love a good film. I like The Shining, but I didn’t like it when I watched it. I liked it afterwards, when I was analyzing it. I like a movie that you can analyze, so the shining is definitely one that you can analyze. I love Coraline, that movie I watched when I was a kid, and I remember it made me feel uncomfortable. It’s not a kid’s movie, it’s horror, which I just found fascinating. The Wizard of Oz is a movie that stuck with me as well.

Do you have a favorite Palestinian film?

I would say Divine Intervention, by Elia Suleiman.

What do you want audiences to feel after encountering your work, even briefly?

I want audiences to feel immersed, I want them to to definitely engage in kind of self reflection and seeing themselves in the art.

Are there any emerging Palestinian actors or music artists that you think the world should keep an eye on?

Lina Mahul, I think is amazing. She’s an amazing artist. I love 47 Soul, a band who is also Palestinian. There’s so much like up-and-coming talent. I feel like, you know, if you come across someone, just keep an eye out, because I feel like we’re on the rise now. You know, it’s our time. 

Sometimes your work reminds me of my favorite director, David Lynch, especially in its visual language. Have you watched any of his films before?

I do know David Lynch. I have not watched his movies. 

His work is so close to yours and he’s my favorite director.

I have seen some of the imagery, and I see what you mean about it kind of being similar, which I’m definitely going to watch a David Lynch film soon. And I can’t wait to be inspired by watching movies. 

If you were a single shot in a film, what would it look like? Make something completely up. 

This is what I have in mind right now. I am thinking it’s a movie set outside, and we’re somewhere concrete and gray, but then we a cool car in the middle, and then a screen behind it, and this screen keeps changing. I don’t know if this is done in post or if there’s a projector, but this screen keeps changing as if you’re driving in different places. There’s like wind. I’m sitting in the car, I think, with a group of friends or with someone, and it just feels careless and like hair is blowing in the wind. It’s nighttime. It’s stylized. I definitely would want it to be stylized, but you can see that it’s a set, and maybe it zooms out from the car, and then eventually you see that it’s a set. And then around us, real life is concrete, but then, like the scene that we’re filming is like changing locations all the time.